As a caregiver, your life is dedicated to helping another person. There’s no doubt that the job you do is important, and that you’re able to make a real difference by being there for that person and helping him or her with the necessary tasks to live daily life. At the same time, being so invested in your job can be damaging – it can take a toll on your health, your personal life as well as your emotional wellbeing. Many caregivers get so caught up in what they are doing that they don’t stop and notice the way that their job is affecting them, while others feel guilty for thinking of themselves when their task is to focus on helping someone else. Adding to this is the issue of attitude: it may seem sometimes like you have to be 100 percent ready to go all the time, always cheerful and always ready to give it your best no matter what you are going through personally.

It is important to remember that caregivers are people too. Just because your job is to help someone else does not mean that you can – or should – suddenly forget about yourself and your needs. Let’s address the struggles that caregivers go through, and how to get past them, one by one.

First, the idea that you need to put on the cheerful face all the time is simply not true.

It is perfectly okay to have “down days” – times when you’re just not feeling up to the task, or days when you don’t necessarily see everything in a positive light. Though you want to make sure that not all of your days turn out like this, you shouldn’t feel the need to suppress unhappiness in order to fit a mold, as that will only serve to make you more uncomfortable.

Second, the problem of guilt – why should you bother with your own desires when someone else clearly needs your attention more?

The answer is simply that you matter – you’re a human being, with your own problems and your own wants. You deserve to get the benefit of self-care as much as the person you are helping. Furthermore, you are better able to take care of another person when you have first taken care of yourself, emotionally and physically.

So now that you’ve acknowledged this truth, how should you go about tackling your “down days”? Every now and then, schedule a break for yourself – take a day and go somewhere you enjoy, like the beach or the park. You can go by yourself, or with a person you love – just make sure that you do whatever is necessary to schedule that time into your busy schedule on purpose. Write it down in your calendar, set a reminder on your phone, do whatever you have to do. Otherwise, it’s easy to forget or brush it off as not important. Also make sure that you are getting enough sleep and taking the time to do something that relaxes you every day, like reading or meditation.